Congruence Blog
Studies reveal that employees spend much more of their work time engaging in persuasion-related tasks than previously thought, underscoring its enterprise-wide significance.
In To Sell is Human Dan Pink writes “People are now spending about 40 percent of their time at work engaged in non-sales selling—persuading, influencing, and convincing others in ways that don’t involve anyone making a purchase.”
It involves preparing the ground before planting the seed creating an environment for changing perspectives. Across virtually all sectors—from service industries to high-growth startups—persuasion is viewed not just as a soft skill, but as a measurable business driver influencing ROI, employee performance, and customer lifetime value.
Persuasion is now a top strategic priority for high-growth, customer-facing, and innovation-driven segments, forming the foundation for both internal and external business success.
Brian Ahearn, Cialdini Method Certified Trainer says “If being polite took up one third of your employees’ days you’d probably want them to learn to be as polite as possible. Any skill used that much is worth focusing time, effort and resources on. Persuasion is one of those skills that deserves focus because of how often it’s used in business.”
Organisations that fail to elevate communication, influence and persuasion as major drivers of not only profit, but employee satisfaction and achievement lose an opportunity to leverage human effectiveness and initiative. Sharpening these skills can be likened to sharpening a utensil before use. Why would you not want to do that?
Deidre McCloskey, Professor of Economics at the University of Illinois has built a case that Persuasion is responsible for 25% of the USA national income. It is probable the figure is now closer to 30%.
According to Brian Tracy “Selling is the process of persuading a person that your product or service is of greater value to him or her than the price you’re asking for it.”
Equipping customer influencers with deep product knowledge is essential, but equally important is empowering them with the communication and persuasion techniques needed to complete sales and nurture lasting partnerships.
This comprehensive understanding of persuasion underlines why organisations that cultivate these skills gain a decisive advantage in both business outcomes and sustainable relationships.
An added personal advantage is that since employees are real people, they get to take these skills home with them to enrich their communication skills with family.
Key source: Brian Ahearn, Three Reasons Every Business Needs to Focus on Persuasion (5 March 2019)
Paul du Toit, CSP is the author of The Book of Persuasion – How You Can Change People’s Minds and Influence Their Decisions While Building Trust.
A week ago 2,000 copies of my latest book arrived in 84 cartons – exactly 6 months after I started writing it. It’s wonderful to hold the book in my hands – with the beautifully designed dust cover protecting the classy hard cover casing. I finally had all the writing, editing, proof-reading, layout, design and planning contained in one neatly packaged volume.
My self publishing journey has been one of ongoing discovery. For those treading this path for whatever reason, perhaps my experience will provide some useful insights?
The Book of Persuasion, my most recent publication which went to my editor in January this year was researched over a period of time, but penned in December 2024 – around 42,000 words. To me, writing is the fun part – and as with my previous 3 books one of the most rewarding of pursuits.
Once the purpose of the book is conceptualised (in this case changing minds while building trust) I’ve always sought the right editor at the start of the writing process – someone with an insight into what the book sets out to achieve.
For that reason, all 4 of my books have different editors. Once my editor is familiar with the script, I expect ongoing consultation through the editing process. Proof-reading is just one element of an editors job. Their task is to transform my writing into a book that the reader won’t want to put down.
Since I write “how to” books rather than fiction, my books are intended to be referred back to over time. I prefer hard cover ensuring that the book will survive travel, rough handling and above all – time.
We’re taught not to judge a book by its cover, but that’s exactly what we do. A dust cover provides 2 extra flaps for bookmarks. The added information can help readers decide whether to buy it or not. My designer not only creates the cover I want but the layout too. He understands the correct dimensions so that I can publish it on international platforms.
Layout is important since the interior adds to the look and feel of the finished product. This can only be done once editing, and preferably independent proof-reading has been done. As the author you should also proof-read your own book in full – prior to and after layout.
As a self publisher deadlines can always be shifted, but once it’s printed you can’t adjust that run. You want to publish a book of which you can be proud.
Watch someone pick up a book. Not everyone is the same, but most glance at the cover then flip it over to read the back. If the back cover is of interest they’ll open the book – sometimes at the front or in the middle. I like to check the Foreword or Preface and then the table of contents, flipping through 3 or 4 testimonials.
The manner in which the first few pages of a book are laid out provide insight into what you can expect. In particular, if the title and subtile have caught my attention, I’m hoping that the Foreword will tell me what I can expect. It sets the tone – so the person that writes it should know you, and should have read most of the book. In choosing Dr Ray Laferla to pen my latest Foreword, I had someone who knows me well and read every word of the book’s maiden draft first.
You also want to provide readers with testimonials from credible people, so you would need to make digital copies available to them well in advance and provide a deadline. If you can print a few advance copies for those who prefer real paper, then do that too. I got this tip from Kim Vermaak. I like to get a dozen testimonials that I have one for the front cover, one for the back and about ten to go near the front. These need to be ready in time for lay out and cover design.
The last few pages of the book is where you can put your bibliography, acknowledgements and a one pager about the author. You can also feature your previous publications.
I set up my distribution channels and printing options at the start of the editing stage. A good distributor will not only get your title into the main book stores and outlets, but set up book launches and book signings too.
An ISBN number is required for digital, paperback and hard cover versions. By the time the book is laid out, sized and ready for printing you want to know who is printing it and what your specifications are. You should also request a timeline from your printers so that you can start planning book launches and marketing.
Your journey has just begun. You’ve gone to a lot of time and trouble to put together a valuable book which you know your readers will love. Since it’s no good writing a masterpiece which nobody reads, it’s time for the crucial stage – to market your book.
[to be continued]
Paul du Toit, Author and Certified Speaking Professional
“There’s a saying that paper is more patient than man.” Anne Frank, Holocaust survivor and author of The Diary of a Young Girl
I remember 1997 well, the same year I delivered my first paid speech. I installed Outlook on my computer, connected to the internet via my phone line, and shared my new email address with some people.
I eagerly awaited my first email, which arrived a few days later, followed by another on the same day! I can’t remember who those first emails were from. I also can’t tell you how many emails I’ve received since then, most of which are unsolicited trash. Like you, I have thousands of emails stored in my current email system. I might have read less than 20 percent of them fully or partially, but over 99.95 percent of them I will never read again. This doesn’t consider the vast amounts of emails I’ve deleted.
In 2019, I hosted a convention for the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa in Johannesburg and invited UK speaker Caspar Craven to stay with me.
A month after the convention, I got a two-page handwritten letter in the mail from Caspar. He expressed his gratitude to my wife and me for our warm hospitality, sharing how much he enjoyed our convention. He also shared interesting updates about his activities and family life, which he mentioned in his enlightening book, Where The Magic Happens – How a Young Family Changed Their Lives and Sailed Around the World.
That letter stayed on my desk for years. I reread it several times and kept thinking about his thoughtfulness. He bought a letter-writing pad, wrote the letter by hand, folded it, and put it in an envelope. He went to the post office, had it weighed, bought international stamps, and placed an airmail sticker on the envelope before mailing it with his return address.
That took a lot more trouble than an email would have. Even after over five years, I can still vividly recall the impact that handwritten letter had on me.
This is the type of activity that everyday people engaged in regularly before the mid-1990s. In boarding school, I eagerly looked forward to Fridays for letters from home, which were 1600 km away and took about a week to arrive. I enthusiastically delved into these letters, revisiting them numerous times. It was truly disheartening to find an empty bag when other boys were happily receiving multiple letters.
Is a handwritten letter really so special? Research suggests receiving one is very special, even more so now, since they are so rare.
Research shows that people view handwritten letters as more serious than emails, leading to better comprehension, retention, and trust.
Research in 2003 headed by P. K. Murphy, from Ohio State University’s School of Educational Policy and Leadership, studied the effectiveness of persuasion in paper versus digital formats in his work titled Persuasion online or on paper: a new take on an old issue.
In the study, undergraduate students read two controversial Time magazine articles, either on paper or on a computer screen.
The study involved tech-savvy undergraduates who spent over 12 hours a week on computers.
The first article, First and Last, Do No Harm, examined a recent ruling by US courts that permitted doctor-assisted suicide for patients with terminal illnesses.
The second article, Dividing Line: Why We Need to Raise Hell, examined the pros and cons of improving the integration of Black and White children in low-income areas in America.
The researchers asked one group to read both articles on a computer. The second group reviewed printed copies of the same two articles.
Both groups reported increased knowledge, but the computer-only readers found the articles less interesting and credible.
The findings show that messages on physical paper are perceived as more credible and better retained. The physical and sensory qualities of paper significantly improve cognitive processing and emotional involvement, resulting in deeper understanding and greater persuasive impact.
Excerpt from The Book of Persuasion – How You Can Change People’s Minds and Influence Their Decisions While Building Trust – Paul du Toit, Author & Certified Speaking Professional 2025, Congruence Publishing
www.pauldutoit.net
It’s only when we dig a little deeper, perhaps at the exit interview, that we discover that the key employee who is leaving you, still loves the company and their colleagues, enjoys the work and is sorry to be leaving. They’re leaving because they could no longer take the manner in which they were being managed.
This is not an uncommon scenario. According to DDI 57% of employees quit because of their boss — and 37% reported that they’ve considered leaving because of their manager.
Experienced managers sometimes find it increasingly difficult to understand why their tried & tested traditional management methods are no longer effective. Developing an awareness that your management style can be a help or a hindrance to your crew is your first introspection step.
How is your management style affecting individual confidence and ultimately employee performance?
Our personal backgrounds & experience have an impact on how we function as managers. For instance our reference point is often our own previous boss. Managers entering a new environment without specific management training will simply do what they’ve previously learned. Your customary style could soon hamper your relationship with your new team members creating unwanted tension & communication barriers. Team members each have specific skills and responsibilities. Since their personality traits and styles are also individualistic, the new workplace demands that each one is managed differently. The new manager also discovers that accessibility is critical to team performance. So time spent communicating with team members becomes part of every work day rather than managing from behind a desk.
According to an Accelerating Excellence Newsletter by Cornerstone Services, an estimated 40% of all managers “fail” within the first 18 months on the job. This means they will be demoted, terminated or resign. The remaining 60% may be successful in varying degrees while many perform well below expectation. Not failing does not equal success. Failure has a dramatic impact on self-esteem, confidence & future success. When leaders fail, business fails.
While people leave bosses, not companies, the costs are multi-edged. Replacing an employee could cost more than double their annual salary. The training and mentorship they received is lost with their immediate future productivity.
So what should you, the m
anager do?
- Ask for outside help. Understanding how you need to adapt your management style to a new culture will benefit both you and individuals in your team. You could enlist the help of a coach to break destructive habits.
- Ask your team for feedback. Prepare for a humbling but essential experience in turning the work environment & culture around. Invite feedback & expect comments like: this is an unhealthy work environment because of ineffective communication, lack of recognition and / or micromanagement.
- All small improvements are steps towards significant personal growth & a more effective leadership approach. Do it in bite-sized chunks. Be consistent. Seeing it through is essential if you want to retain key employees.
By adjusting your management style you can expects these benefits:
- Your crew will be more involved & engaged.
- Their self management grows as they become more trusting of you.
- You are more likely to retain your key people for longer.
- Productivity is sure to improve (your boss will be happier too!)
- Deserving parties (you included) are recognised and opportunities created for promotion.
- The organisation saves significantly on recruitment fees.
- Experience and intellectual wealth is retained.
Adapting a well grooved management style is not plain sailing and there are bound to be obstacles and frustrations along the way. But for the sake of everyone in the team it’s worth doing. As you improve as a manager, you create the opportunity for your team members to grow, thrive and be increasingly more productive. Being prepared to learn from them will enhance trust ensuring that you keep more of the people you value the most.
Trudi du Toit.______________________________________________________________________________________Our interactive workshop Empowering Managers equips managers to:
- identify destructive patterns of behaviour
- develop a strategy to enlist the willing cooperation of their team
- create a high performance culture to take their team / organisation into the future & post some impressive results.
You’ll be amazed by what your profile will reveal. Come prepared for self-analysis & understand how your :
- personality style
- communication style
- management style
- conflict resolution style
impacts the people around you. Learn how to break old patterns, implement new strategies, achieve tangible business results & grow your leadership skills.
Relationship selling (as opposed to transactional selling) seeks to build trust with chosen customers in order to lock in loyalty. Our very best endeavours don’t always work perfectly. Products need servicing, things break and advice given today can be outdated in weeks or months as markets continually adjust. But customers are astute – they seek consistency for which they will reward you with annuity income.
So how does relationship selling work? It’s when your offering consistently matches the promise thereby cementing trust. It also involves the promise being achievable almost all the time. And that takes planning and consistent effort. It means that on the few occasions that things don’t go as planned that there are processes in place to deal with this efficiently providing the same level of service enjoyed at point of sale.
Established organisations automate much of the after-sales process thus providing a place to go when products need servicing or fixing. So far so good. But what happens when the after sales service does not match the promise? The trust built up in the initial phase of acquiring the client can be eroded fast.
Relationship selling can only be effective when all the players along the service line and supporting systems play their role in upholding the promise thus retaining customer trust thereby maintaining brand authenticity.
Any organisation seeking to make relationship selling the sole responsibility of the customer facing employee or key account manager is making a grave mistake. The result could be that the painstaking work done at the front end is undone at the back end.
Typically the front end involves doing your homework on the customer’s needs and difficulties and their barriers to success. Effective communication with the client involves maintaining momentum and interest until something concrete happens and beyond. In the process, particularly as you demonstrate understanding an adaptability, trust is gradually built. Credibility takes a longer as reputation translates into action and a dependable track record of interactions.
Once your efforts provide your customer results in the form of cost / time savings, increasing profitability or workplace efficiency the focus moves to maintaining the relationship in the face of changing needs (adaptability) and support.
Customer loyalty is earned. If you strive for Relationship Integrity where the benefits to both parties form the basis of an ongoing relationship, your most valued customers will stick around. As the relationship strengthens and grows over time, you earn the right to expand your offerings and request referrals.
An often overlooked tool in your armoury is requesting regular customer feedback on what you’re doing using strategically well appointed questions. That way you not only hear what needs improving, but it might lead to new ideas or suggestions on what can be done differently. There are also massive benefits to be had from educating your client on your procedures in order to get the most from your services and products in better time.
In essence, Relationship Integrity is not a sprint – it’s an ultra marathon with a difference. That difference is that the goal is not to complete the race, but to keep it going continually.
A staggering number of Post Covid reports refer to tired and burned-out employees.
What will make people want to return to the work place? How do we put:
- the zing back into workplaces?
- the excitement back into employees?
- the fulfilment back into jobs?
Start by making your work place inclusive!
What is an inclusive workplace?
Inclusivity caters for, welcomes and supports the different ways people process information, interact with others and achieve goals. The goal is to make employees feel comfortable. It’s a culture (behaviour) that encourages employees to feel valued for their unique qualities and experience a sense of belonging. In simple terms, inclusion is getting the mix to work together.
In an inclusive organisation, one sees diversity at every level. Many cultures, traditions, beliefs, languages and lifestyles are prevalent in both the workforce as well as the customer populations. These differences are respected without judgment. Instead of spending time on conflict, time is spent on bringing out the best in each other and finding ways to celebrate differences. Yes – it’s easier said than done and requires deliberate action! However, it makes a huge difference – to much more than just the bottom line – when you do get it to work.
Just how do you create an inclusive work place?
- Start at leadership level. Inclusive workplaces start with authentic, empathetic leaders who make inclusivity a top priority by embracing the input of employees whose backgrounds or expertise differs from their own. They foster collaboration among diverse staff members, which eliminates bias and sets the right example.
- Customise company policies, vision and culture to support all aspects of diversity, address harassment and protect minority groups.
- Redefine recruitment strategies and train people managers on how to select, manage, evaluate and retain diverse employees. Not all skills are developed at work. There are many talented candidates whose CV’s reflect a lack of experience or other large gaps. You may need to provide alternative ways for an applicant to demonstrate their capabilities – such as a competency-based application form, a covering letter or even video submissions (where appropriate). Provide options that allow people to shine. What could you do to allow more people to thrive? You may need to adjust the application, interview or assessment process. Get expert help if necessary.
- Provide leadership development opportunities, coaching, mentoring, team building and diversity training.
- Connect with employees (be sensitive). Allowing employees multiple ways to provide feedback fosters a healthy work environment, makes employees feel valued and provides a safe space for employees to be themselves. ‘Psychological safety’ enables team members to share their thoughts and opinions freely, so everyone feels heard. All ideas are on the table – not just those of a select few.
Why does inclusivity make good business sense?
75% of large companies with 250+ workers currently report problems with recruiting skilled workers – indicating a significant “talent shortage”. (https://www.researchgate.net/publication/271303135_The_nature_extent_and_effect_of_skills_shortages_on_skills_migration_in_South_Africa
Research shows that some of the benefits of a diverse and inclusive workplace include:
- increased employee engagement, loyalty and commitment;
- greater readiness to innovate due to a sense of safety and security;
- increased sense of belonging, team cohesion and participation;
- increased motivation, willingness and happier employees;
These all ultimately lead to increased revenue, et voila – problem solved! Seeing these changes in the organisations and individuals we work with, is by far the most rewarding experience. We specialise in creating “positive” work environments where people learn how to create shared purpose, values, trust, cooperation, safety, risk-taking, support, accountability and equity and look forward to seeing many more companies take up this challenge.
Doesn’t it make good business sense to create and maintain a fully inclusive workplace?
About the author: Trudi du Toit has worked with various organisations, individuals & teams, at different levels & from different industries. She is an experienced & accomplished facilitator – flexible & versatile – able to deal with diverse audiences. As the project manager for Supervisory, Management & Leadership Empowerment, she develops teams and leaders by facilitating processes that work – because they change lives and transform businesses.